Indonesia's Most Memorable Births

All 32 births that I attended were special in different ways. As I mentioned previously, as each baby was born, the midwives and others in attendance would sing the Gayatri mantra. If the mother was Christian/Catholic, they (or usually me!) would sing Amazing Grace. Other religions would choose the song they wanted.

These are the births I remember the most.

The first birth I actually didn't attend. The day I showed up at the clinic, the midwives put me to work doing labor support for a first time mom. I had a total of 6 hours of sleep plus travel time the previous 48 hours so was doing my best! I started labor support around 9:30am. When the woman was doing well, I'd go make sure my family was settling in and finding food. At 8pm, I went and nursed the twins and headed back to the clinic. I continued the labor support until 2am, and at that point, I had dozed in my chair and almost fell off, much to the amusement of the woman and her husband. I told the midwives that I could not continue and they said they'd call me when she was ready to give birth. I went home and crashed, they didn't have my number yet (!), and the woman gave birth 30 minutes after I left! The next morning the new mother was so thankful to me for my help and was excited to show off her new baby. I saw her again a few weeks later at a well baby clinic. Still 100% breastfed and very healthy!


Birth #1 - my preceptor hollered over to me to hurry up because there was a baby coming fast. So I went in and saw my first birth at the clinic!


Birth #3 - My first waterbirth at the clinic!


Somehow I managed to see most of the scary births that summer...


Birth #4 - This was the first birth that I was told I was going to be the one to "catch". I was there for all 3.5 hr of pushing in a variety of positions and the baby's heart tones all over the place. Everyone was ready for resuscitation if needed. The baby I caught came out completely floppy as I placed her onto her mother's chest. After that, I stood back and took orders as my preceptor took over with CPR and works. It took 45 mintues before the baby was stable! This was the first resus I had seen and the whole time my heart was in my throat. I kept cool and prayed a lot! The next day the baby would not nurse and the mother was worried that something was wrong. As I watched her try to nurse, I knew that something was "off" but I couldn't figure out what. I called in "M" a volunteer L&D nurse who had worked with 100s of babies. When she came in to check heart, respirations, etc, she didn't notice anything and the baby was not acting strange anymore. I went home for lunch and mentioned the odd behaviour to my preceptor and she said, let's go back and take a look. When she walked in, the baby was acting "off" again. The baby was having petite mal seizures. The clinic decided to transport the baby to a NICU in Denpasar (about 45 minutes away). The day after I left Indonesia, at 6 weeks old, she passed away.


Birth # 6 - Recognized my first posterior baby at crowning. One of the fabulous Indonesian midwives worked with me to help deliver the head with minimal tearing. The tear still needed suturing, and I got to assist with suturing for the first time.


Birth # 7 - These women love crowds in the room for giving birth. 10 women (mother, midwives, family, etc) plus the father, plus my daughter Grace watching! (At the time of this blog, my 6 year old has observed 7 births!)


Birth #9 - This mother worked for hours but finally when the heart tones got too high, she transferred to the hospital for a Cesarean. The baby's head was asynclitic (crooked) and posterior. She tried so hard with a great attitude through any position change we could think of to get him out, but it just wouldn't work. I went the next day to the local hospital to see her and she was already breastfeeding well. That was also my first experience with the local hospital... not good!


Birth # 11 - the "doughnut lady" - this is how I will always remember her! A very young mother who did not want to eat the healthy foods/drinks we brought her. She finally decided to start pushing when her husband brought her a doughnut that she inhaled! She pushed in a variety of positions and finally ended up on hands and knees on a pile of towels on the floor. It was suspected that the baby was 4 weeks early, and the next two days I spent a lot of time helping her get this tiny baby to the breast.


Birth #12 - One of my most memorable! This mother's obstetric history is typical for a 3rd world country. Her first baby died during labor due to horrible mismanagement by her village midwife (who is still practicing). Her second baby, she decided to skip labor and have a live baby by paying a lot of money for a cesarean. She finally came to the clinic wanted a happy birth, and a VBAC. She had a vertical scar and labored for 2 days. Until this point in my career, I had NEVER seen a woman work so hard for what she wanted. This was also my first shoulder dystocia, and I learned a technique from my preceptor that I'd never read in any books!


Birth # 14 - My biggest baby ever! 4,650 grams aka 10lb 4oz. Not only was this the biggest baby I had seen birthed, but it was the biggest placenta my preceptor had ever seen!


Birth #16 - Saw manual removal of the placenta. Not pretty, but necessary in this case. It's rarely needed but it was this time. The mother did really well despite the interventions.


Birth # 17 - My favorite birth for the summer. Most of the families coming to the clinic were Hindu or Muslim but this time a Christian woman came in with a lot of her family plus others from her church. She had wonderful moral support from her older sister, and by the end of the birth, her sister and two other women were singing praise songs as the baby came out. When I got back to Thailand, the first song we sang in church happened to be the same song as this baby's birth and it brought tears to my eyes in memory.


Birth # 18 - This was a special birth because it was so simple. A 19 year old's first birth with no fear. She just came in, did her thing, pushed her baby out and put him to the breast.


Birth # 19 - Pushing was going so well. And then the mother reached down, felt the top of the baby's head, yelled "BAYI!" (baby) and pushed like crazy. She had an awful tear which was confusing to me when watching the suturing. Oh, and baby's one thumb was actually 2 thumbs fused together.


Birth # 20 - My first birth as primary midwife. One of the longest labors, 6.5 hr of pushing, 3rd degree tear. I had a fabulous Australian CNM working with me and she took on the "doula" role for me and was great whispering encouragment in my ear through the whole thing!


Birth #21 - See previous post about my first time suturing!


Birth # 23 - In general, boys are desired, and girls are OK if you already have a boy. So some births were sad when the mother was obviously disappointed in the birth outcome. For this birth, finding out the sex was quite funny and they were very happy with the outcome. Dad thinking: Boy or girl, I will look. Hmm, I'm not sure, from this angle, I guess I'll wait. Mom (5 minutes later feeling the baby): Boy or girl, I'll feel it out. Boy? Hmm, oh it's a girl!


Birth # 25 - I'll call it "Bucket Brigade Birth". The gas wasn't working in the water heater, so we had to carry bucket after bucket from the other birth room, and it was barely filled in time!


Birth #26 - We finally convinced the older brother (10 yr old) that it was OK to come in for the birth. Even though at this point my Indonesian was still in the baby stages, I could figure out that this kid was hilarious. His questions had the midwives cracking up the whole time. The birth was noneventful but the baby had a hard time breathing on her own. She had multiple birth defects, especially odd sutures, and she was transferred to the hospital a few hours later.


Births # 31 and #32 were the hardest two births for me ever. I'll start with # 32.

Birth # 32 - My preceptor and I had just finished birth #31 and ended up at the hospital for an induction. The father made all of us uneasy and as the night and then morning progressed, he basically decided that he wanted his wife to have a Cesarean that she didn't want. She had gone from 0 - 10 cm with induction and pushed for 2 hours with progress, but he was quite forceful that she was to have a C/S. I saw the Cesarean and stayed with the mother until she got to recovery. My preceptor stayed with the father because she was asked quietly by the nurses to keep an eye on him because he even made them uneasy. After we saw that the mother was breastfeeding and doing well, we went to leave but the father blocked our way, shoved my preceptor and demanded why we let her have a Cesarean. It was a really scary situation and the nurse in the room called security to make sure we could get out. That was my last birth in Bali.


Birth #31 - Not a day goes by that I don't think of "K". She was an older Muslim woman that I saw a few times for prenatals. At her prenatals she was measuring large, suspected polyhydramnios (excess amniotic fluid), and an ultrasound showed only one baby. "K" had decent English so we made a connection and she was happy to have me as her midwife. I came to the clinic as soon as I heard she was there and helped her with labor support. She was all alone and had very little in her birth kit. She labored well, pushed an hour, and her baby boy was born. After holding him a few seconds, we placed him on the bed and started resuscitation. All of the senior midwives and a nurse with high-level resus skills was there. We could see that he had problems. He also had no desire to breathe on his own. Two midwives and two students eventually took him to the hospital in Denpasar helping him breathe the whole way there. I stayed with "K" and reassured her that everyone was trying their best to help him. Of course I'm leaving out many many details here, but it was an awful situation.

A few hours later, "K" was stable enough for her, my preceptor, and me to go to see her baby. We got to the hospital and I held "K"s had tightly as we walked to a waiting room to sit while my preceptor and her husband searched the hospital for her baby. My preceptor and I made eye contact and I knew. We walked with "K" to the room where her baby was and held her up as she saw her baby laying in a baby bed in the corner with his blanket pulled up over his face. He had passed away just 30 minutes before we arrived. I can't say more about this here. We stayed with "K" until her husband could come and collect the death certificate. The last I saw "K" was her wheeled away in a wheelchair, holding her baby in her arms, off to ride away to the graveyard.



I saw so many wonderful and sad things in Indonesia. All of these women willingly allowed me to share their beautiful experiences, and I am forever grateful to them.

A Typical Clinic Birth

I managed to see a variety of births at the birth clinic. For some reason I ended up with the difficult ones full of complications. But there were some wonderful beautiful births as well. Here is a normal birth!

"Made" (pronounced Ma-Day) arrives with her husband at 3am. She slides off the back of their motorcycle where she rode side-saddle for anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes in labor. It is actually not as common for women to arrive in the middle of the night because that would mean driving past graveyards in the pitch-black night with a chance of encountering ghosts. But this is Made's second baby and she knows she is in labor. While she walks along the front porch dealing with a contraction, her husband "Wayan" knocks on the midwives' door.

The midwives share one big room. Two double beds are pushed together for anywhere from 2 - 5 midwives to share during the night, wrapped up in sarongs or a mosquito net. One midwife gets up to answer the knock, pushing her glasses back onto her face. Tonight it is "Ibu Agung" that checks on Made with me trailing behind to help with taking a blood pressure and gathering supplies. (If we hear a mom bellowing from the parking lot, one of us scrambles to make sure everything is laid out in case of a fast birth). Made is taken into a prenatal room where Ibu Agung checks her dilation and asks questions to make sure labor has really begun. 5cm dilated and laboring well, and wanting a water birth.

While the mother labors in her room, I begin to fill the water tub, put down a slip-proof mat on the floor, find extra towels, and make sure all of the supplies are ready: homeopathy, herbs, resus equipment, sterile gloves, yunan bayao, etc. The mother takes a sip out of her large water bottle and hands it to me. I take it to the fridge in the midwives' room and put 3 large squirts of liquid chlorophyll into it. When I get back water tub isn't ready yet so I help the dad help Made through a few contractions. Every 30 minutes or so I listen to the baby's heart and record everything on the chart. Her contractions get stronger and she gets into the tub. I tell the other midwives that Made is progressing quickly and a they get out of bed and wait around.

On my way to the clinic that night, I collected flowers. As I walked out of my house, I pulled a few from the trees as I passed and picked up more off of the street as I went, using the flashlight on my phone so I don't trip over rocks in the road. The flowers are for any births to come that night. I retrieved the flowers from earlier and dropped them into the water tub with Made. She takes a deep breath and smiles at me. I ask, "Bagus?" Good? She nods ands closes her eyes. During one contraction her water breaks and I lean down into the tub with the doppler to check on the baby. He or she is just fine, and I can see Made's labia beginning to open as she begins to push.

I have a baby blanket over my shoulder and the dad has a baby hat in his shirt to keep it warm. My senior midwife breezes in and squeezes my arm. I smile and say, hey you finally woke up! Even after 3000 babies, she can't help but come to births. Sometimes the clinic will call her to come with a difficult birth, and other times, she just wakes up and knows somehow that she should come. Made is so happy that she came as her first baby was also born at the clinic.

We all watch as the baby's head begins to appear and the midwives begin to sing the Gayatri Song. It is the most revered Hindu prayer and the first thing a baby hears. All of the midwives and the father sing... an amazing sound as it echoes through the room. Outside the birthroom it is silent. The mothers with newborns in the postpartum room have heard the labor and listen in anticipation. The family members outside hold their breaths. Made's firstborn, a daughter, is brought in by her mother-in-law to watch. I reach down to slow the baby's head down from tearing through and soon my whole hand is filled with a soft baby's face. I check for a cord and there is none. And the a baby slides out into the water, into my hands, and then is lifted up onto the mother's chest while the room echoes in song. Chills go down my spine!

I lay the blanket over the baby, and a midwife puts the warmed hat onto the baby's head. We wait for a few minutes as the water drains, scooping out bits of blood and membranes, while waiting for the placenta. The mother shifts uncomfortably and I catch the placenta as it slides out. I inspect it quickly for any missing parts, wash it off in the tub and carefully place it in a bowl, without clamping or cutting the cord. I scoop out the flowers, rinse them off, and place on top of the placenta. Made looks down at her baby and lifts a little leg. She sighs a huge sigh of relief.... a boy! Now that she has birthed a boy, she can stop having babies.

As soon as she can, Made gets up and is showered off while one of the midwives takes the baby and placenta to the bed. She dries off with help and lays down where the baby is immediately putting him to her breast. The senior midwife and I check her perineum and discover no tears! Made has already drunk her yunan bayao drink to help prevent hemorrhage and I sprinkle dried yunan bayao over the tender tissues to help them heal. I take a warm wash cloth and wipe her down again, and help her put on underwear with pads. The dad helps me take one of her sarongs and lay it over her, tucking her and baby in together.

By now, the student midwives have finished cleaning the tub and putting things away. I make sure the placenta bowl is close enough to the baby so it doesn't pull on his cord. He is beautiful and the mother is sleeping. I quietly close the door behind me and will check on her off and on until later in the day. I look at my watch and it is 8am. On that day, it is one birth finished and three to go.

Busy busy busy

Somehow I will find the time to plan and pack for leaving in less than a month to go to Bali. Things are slowly coming together and everyone is getting so excited about our summer adventures.

I've attended 3 births so far this year which may not seem like much except that one birth also means 2 prenatal and one postpartum meeting. Those have to be worked around our family schedule. So far it seems that until the kids get older, one birth a month will have to be my quota. If I have no birth booked for that month then I can be backup for another doula. I'm doing no more births until I get to Bali, and I have a repeat midwifery client due in August when I get back. Anyone need me in September? :)

I've also been really busy with my school work. I've been putting in 20 hour weeks to finish 2nd quarter work, which I finished yesterday and will put in the mail this week. It's ready 2 months early! I just really needed that big project out of the way so my mind will have room to process everything else that needs to get done. So far, I've met my goals for each quarter, which are to submit projects and requirements every quarter, with no exception. I even plan on taking a small project with me while I'm gone to work on during down times.

I attended/missed a great birth in Korat in March. It's a 3+ hr drive and I left as soon as I was told to come but didn't make it in time. But I still learned a lot from helping with the placenta and inspecting it and all of its "issues". I drove 600km in less than 24 hours, through mountains and rice paddies! Thankfully that birth came right on time as I had one scheduled 10 days later which also came right around the due date. A fabulous first-time mom who got her waterbirth. I really enjoyed watching a man become a father at that birth... it was beautiful!

Unless I get a chance to update between now and when we leave, the next post will probably come from Bali!

Birth as an American Rite of Passage

I finally finished this book yesterday (along with a few other assignments). Very interesting on the rites and rituals performed in the medical model of birth and why women choose to birth this way. Really helped me understand why I feel called toward midwifery. And I didn't even have bad births. Which makes me want to respond to Letisha's blog:

LABOR MEME

Since it is labor day and what woman does not love to hear about other labor stories? So here we go!

How long were your labors?
#1: 4.5 hours
#2: 3.5 hours - today is his birthday!
#3 & #4: 5.5 hours

How did you know you were in labor?
#1: I went in for a 5-day late checkup and the monitor showed me having contractions. I could't feel them so I went home. After my water broke, it was labor.
#2: I was grocery shopping and having to stop every few minutes to catch my breath. Got home and after an hour of contractions while watching TV realized that maybe it was real contractions.
#3 & #4: Contractions woke me up.

Where did you deliver?
#1 - a natural birth suite at a hospital
#2 - at home with Certified Nurse Midwife
#3 & #4 - unassisted birth of twins at home, and YES IT WAS PLANNED

Drugs?
#1 - I opted for Demerol after it was heavily pushed on me; if only I'd known that I was so close to the end I would've refused

C-Section?
No way no how was I going to opt for a "Planned Cesarean" of twins as my "only" choice, so we stayed home.

Who Delivered?
I "birthed" my babies. Delivery is for pizzas.

CBE class birth outcomes

All of the mamas in my first childbirth ed classes have had their babies. We had a fabulous class reunion where everyone shared their birth stories, showed off their babies, and discussed what it was like being new parents.

First birth: They were using a gov't hospital and the doctor had been talking about C-sections from day one. Guess what she got? First he tried the "your pelvis is too small" excuse. Then the "you're too fat for vaginal birth" excuse. Then the "you have PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension" excuse. Well, they fell for the PIH one. Her blood pressure was slightly elevated but in the safe range. AND the doctor recommended c-section when inducing would have been the safer, evidence-based alternative. The baby was born on its due date by C-section. The hospital kept the baby for "observation" for 2 days and breast-feeding was a nightmare. As I said in my classes, you get what you sign up for. If you know your doctor has a high C-section or intervention rate, you're playing the odds that you'll get the same. They are happy overall. Breastfeeding lasted less than 6 weeks after she went back to work =(

Second birth: Mama was at a great natural-birth hospital, totally set on natural birth. Went 8 days overdue. Decided she wanted the baby out "because it's more days I can spend with him before I go back to work." So she traded 1 or 2 more days inside for an unnecessary C-section. What happened? EXACTLY as the "mock scenario" we played out in class. She asks for her water to be broken. Never mind she'd been slowly in labor the last couple days. We had discussed the risks of the water being broken. But that's what happened, and the result? A posterior baby. The early "prodromal" labor that happens for a few days is usually the uterus rotating the baby into a better birthing position. So the baby is posterior, she has major back labor, not dilated enough to get in the birth tub, so asks for... an epidural. The epidural eventually wears out, so it gets topped off. A typical side affect happens to her... too low blood pressure. So they give her a drug to keep it up. The result? The baby's heart rate goes way up. So all of a sudden... ding ding ding. Emergency, must get out baby NOW. Aaaarrrggghhh. See the cascade of interventions here? Well, at least breastfeeding is going fabulous for them.

Third birth: Aaahh, finally a vaginal birth. I was supposed to doula for them, but she went into labor 3 weeks before her due date, didn't have my contact info with them (since they'd gone in for an appointment and they realized she was in labor), and so I missed a birth =( She was in labor, but the doctor wanted to using EFM (electric fetal monitoring) to see what was going on. It was showing the baby's heart rate reacting slowly to contractions. Her doctor said, you need a C-section now. She said, "no way." The doctor said, your baby is going to die then. She says, "no, I do not consent to a C-section." They waited a little while and she prayed and prayed and had more EFM done. Which showed the heart rate doing better, so the doctor said, yes you can "try" for a vaginal birth, but you have to have EFM during your whole labor. What that means is you are stuck on the bed during all of labor and can really do nothing for pain management. My hero stuck to her plans. Yes, her water was broken, yes, she was stuck on her bed, but 4 hours later and NO PAIN DRUGS, birthed a beautiful 5 lb 5oz baby!! She said she wanted me there so bad, but I told her when visiting her at the hospital... "What did you need me for? You did just fine." Breastfeeding went really well, until she went back to work 8 weeks later.

I have advertisements out for a new series starting up, but no responses yet. In a way, I'm hoping no one wants classes right now as I'm too tired, but I really love the teaching and want more of it!

Now THIS is a Birthstory!

My midwife (now I consider her my mentor, idol, and friend) just emailed me a pretty amazing story that I just have to pass along. I'm editing portions to protect the innocent... well not innocent... just working where it happens to be illegal to catch babies as a foreigner.

Here's the story:

Two weeks ago I had a pretty amazing experience!

Three days before, I had received an email from "H", a Japanese man with a Thai wife, "B". He wrote

"Hello,

I am a Japanese living in Bangkok, and my Thai wife is expecting childbirth around Apr. 15 (now in 38th week). We have been interested in homebirth since the start of the conception and have been preparing for it. But we have not been able to find anybody giving us the professional technical assistance so far and are at a loss what to do. I am wondering if somebody has any information or local acquaintances that could help us. We take the regular check-ups at "X" Hospital, but mother and baby both being healthy, and we want to have the delivery either at 1) our Bangkok apartment (18sqm small concrete room), 2) my wife’s grandmother’s house in Petchaburi Province (big wooden house), or 3) any wooden house suitable for the image of natural birth.

Thanks in advance"

I emailed back and told him that I was a midwife, but legally not able to work in Bangkok, and that I doubted that he would find anyone who would be willing to help with a home birth (bearing in mind that I hear from them for the first time two weeks before the due date....) but that I would be happy to help them to prepare for (unassisted) home birth if that was what they wanted. Yes, they did - so I arranged to meet him at On Nut BTS on Thursday, and that I would teach them a crash prenatal course.

On Tuesday night at 11.30 pm "H" called to say that there had been "some blood, and contractions 15 - 20 minutes apart". I told him that she had a long way to go, and that it could be false labour. I also told him that I had heard that "X" Hospital, where they had been having prenatal care, had a good nurse in the labour ward. I didn't sleep much wondering about them, and felt vaguely guilty for not being more helpful - but I had never seen them, I did not know her pregnancy history - the baby could have been breech for all I knew...... (And you know that I only accept clients I consider to be 'low risk' for home birth.)

At 6.30am the phone rang again, and a very distraught "H" was saying "What do I do? What do I do? There is something coming out". Then I heard "B" scream and the phone went dead. I waited. And I got dressed and got my Goodie bag. 10 minutes later he called back, sounding pretty hassled. "H., would you like me to come?", I couldn't help myself from asking, with the response "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Their place was hard to find. A long way from the main road down lots of little sois. [sois are Thai sidestreets] My lovely husband drove me, muttering on the way about his insane (but caring) wife. After taking a wrong turn and then reversing 50 metres down a narrow lane with no place to turn, we finally stumbled upon a Thai-style very basic apartment building.

I walked up three flights of stairs with my clobber, and entered an intense situation of a very frightened young girl about to give birth, and a husband who bowed about a dozen times with relief when he saw me. "B" was tiny and tight, but about an hour later, I caught her baby girl who cried lustily as she greeted the World. Her mother did not tear, did not bleed excessively, and was the perfect patient. We all cried.

After the placenta was delivered and the tiny baby (just 2.4kg - 5lbs 5oz) was suckling, we all introduced our selves, shook hands, bowed and wai-ed. [Wai is a Thai bow]

It was such a strange experience. As it turned out, they had prepared nothing. Not even a diaper or blanket for the baby, and no pads for the new mom. They live in an 18 square metre apartment, and you really couldn't swing a cat in it, (even if you wanted to...) - just a 3/4 mattress on the floor, a chair, a desk, a toilet and shower and basin, and, of course, a TV and computer! No kitchen, no sink, no stove.

But it really was a beautiful birth. I don't know why we have to make birth so complicated and difficult.

I called back to see them in the afternoon, weighed the baby and donated a couple of blankets and little shirts. "H" was effusive with his bows, and paid me more than I wanted. I gave him half back and told him to go shopping for his baby!

I love my life.

My favorite sentence of this whole story is: "I don't know why we have to make birth so complicated and difficult." This is so true. The body was designed to birth a baby. Why does society have to mess with it and make it scary, full of fear, and technical? Birth is such an amazing, spiritual event!

Grace's Birthstory

Grace was due Sept. 1, 2003. I went in on the due date for the NST (non-stress test) and only had one or 2 contractions, but not strong.

I went in again on Sept. 4th for another checkup. I was 3cm dilated because of the strong regular BH contractions I'd been having for 2 weeks. I don't remember losing my mucus plug, so I think it came out slowly. The nurses hooked me up to the NST again, came in and checked after 20 minutes, looked at the printout sheet and had the doctor come in. He said, you're having real contractions, you're in labor. When you're done here (I was in the L&D unit for the NST), come back down to my office. (My doc's office is at the hospital... that's how it's done here).

So I go back down to his office, and it's 1pm. I tell him I feel absolutely nothing and I feel fine. He said that I was in labor and I'd be having the baby that day. I'm thinking "yeah right". So I said to him, "I'm going home to get my husband, my suitcase, and my best friend, and I'll be back before rush hour traffic starts."

I'd been told not to go to the hospital anyway until the contractions were about 5min. apart. Not good to go too early or you get too many interventions. So I go home. I call my husband "D" and best friend Amy and say, "The doctor says I'm in labor, I feel nothing, but I guess we should go in." So we meet at my house at 3pm. I call my parents to say pray for us since we're going in. I still feel NOTHING. To me it's just BH contractions.

Get back to the hospital around 5pm. They hook me up to the NST, contractions are 10min. apart. I feel NOTHING. I eat dinner, walk around the hospital with best friend ("D" went out to grocery store across the street). I still feel NOTHING. By this time, I'm like... "What am I doing here! I'm not in labor, it's a false alarm, I wanna go home!" How embarrassing to be there for NO REASON!

The nurses tell me that when the contractions get to be 5min. apart that they'll check me again. Around 8pm, the "BH contraxs" to me were 5 min. They check me... I'm 3cm dilated... and I feel NOTHING. They suggest to me that I go lay down and try to sleep. I decide to take a shower first. I throw up in the shower because I'm so nervous!! Maybe nervous because I really didn't think I needed to be there? But the shower was relaxing and I got to sleep around 9pm. "D" is napping on the sofa in the room. Amy is watching a movie on her laptop.

11:07pm, I feel SOMETHING! My first painful contraction. NOTE: This is when I consider my labor to begin. 11:15, a HUGE contraction, and my water breaks all over the bed. So glad not at home. I yell "My water broke!!" The lights go on, I jump off the bed and run to the toilet so I wouldn't be so wet. Well, I got to the toilet and realized the contractions were so strong that I couldn't walk. Talk about going 0 to 60 in 5 minutes! So they wheel me down to the labor suite. I lean on the bed during contractions, I kneel, I try everything but no relief. I ask for the birthing pool around 1am. All of my pain is centered on my tailbone at that point. I get into the pool, moaning LOUDLY (I'm sure the whole hospital heard me), and after 5 contractions realize that this isn't going to work. I can't seem to find a comfortable position without floating. If they'd checked my dilation first, they could've told me I was entering transition and that the pain relief would be less effective. At least getting in and out of the water got me distracted.

So I go lay on the big bed (nice birthing suite... only natural birthing suite in all of SE Asia... lucky me!). Amy reminds me that I'm going to lose my voice if I keep moaning so loud. She helped me get in control by breathing in through my nose and out by my mouth. My OB hears me from down the hall and comes in to push me into agreeing to Demerol. ( My mom had to take a valium with me!!) It calms me down enough to actually relax between contractions and focus on breathing during. It gave no pain relief. I'd been taught that laboring in bed was bad, but my tailbone was so bad that laying on my right side and the nurse midwife manipulating my tailbone during contractions helped more. Around 3am I muttered that it felt better to push during the contraction. Amy asked me to repeat it and then she announced to the nurses that I felt like pushing. They check me and I'm ready to push.

3:15am. So, they try to get me to push while laying on my side. That was stupid. I insist on getting out of the bed. The demerol had worn off and I was actually relaxed and excited to be pushing. I tried the birthing stool but I couldn't get low enough. It's also at this time that I see a roach on the floor... hey it's SE Asia, the hospital is clean, but they still can get in. I even thought it was funny at the moment... especially the doc taking off his slipper and chasing it!! I decide that the best position for pushing is squatting on the floor. "D" sits on the bed behind me while I'm leaning against him on the floor. Contractions slowed down to 3 to 5 minutes apart. Pushing felt great.... like I was getting something accomplished. Looking back, pushing was 100x better than the contractions.

I remember feeling that "ring of fire" as she was crowning... Amy said isn't this where you're not supposed to push to not tear? The doctor was like nah, just push, so instead of helping me out, I tore (another pissed off story I'll write at another time!). He had the nerve to tell her, "If you're gonna tear, you're gonna tear." What a load of crap. Anyway...

3:42am, there she/he is! Less than half an hour of pushing! They ask me if I want to hold it and I say no way... I'm too shaky from being in the squatting position for so long. I ask if it's a boy or girl. Doctor says, You tell me. And I see it's a girl! Welcome Grace Elizabeth!


I layed down on the bed and then held her and tried to nurse her. She was more interested in looking around. "D" stuck out his tongue and she even copied! I birthed the placenta, got 3 stitches, and was so tired! "D" fell asleep on the floor, I fell asleep on the bed. Amy ended up holding Grace for the next hour!! Around 7am I transferred back to my room.

And that's the story of Grace's birth. I'm still amazed that I felt NOTHING when I was supposedly in labor until my water broke. Turned out to be 4.5 hours of labor with half an hour of that pushing. Overall I'm very happy with the experience of her birth.


Fast foward 2.5 years, with hours of reading and education later, and now with a totally different view point. At the time I thought it was a great birth, and it was compared to how most women birth, but I can still see so many things that went wrong. #1 - I should've waited at home and gone to the hospital after my water broke. #2 - I should've walked to the L&D room and all over the place. #3 - I should've tried more positions in the birthing pool. #4 - I should have NEVER layed back down on that bed! #5 - I shouldn't have gotten Demerol because it made me in such a haze, Grace wouldn't nurse well, and I didn't seem to care what was going on other than I wanted a nap. #6 - I shouldn't have pushed through the pain to ge the baby out... should've not pushed and let her slip out so I wouldn't tear.

I really think that as a first time mom, I did well, but if I'd had a trained doula (labor assistant), not just a friend who'd never had a baby there, I would've been encouraged to try different things to manage the pain. I also would've known the risks involved with a narcotic (Demerol) and known to ask dilation to see how much longer it would've taken.

I also wish we'd declined the Vitamin K shot. I wish she'd roomed in with me instead of sending her off to the nursery so much. I really feel like there wasn't much bonding. I didn't even have a chance to change a diaper until we brought her home. The first few weeks were not good. I couldn't sit well due to the stitches, Grace wouldn't breastfeed correctly (until I get help), and I got mono. After she started eating well, it got better.

All of her birth was a learning experience, and I took a completely different route the next time...

Here's a current picture of Grace: